《What - is - friendship》Michele E Doyle& Mark K Smith

What is friendship?

Michele E Doyle & Mark K Smith

What we approach the notion of friendship , our first problem is that there is a lack of socially acknowledged criteria for what makes a person a friend . In one setting , we may describe someone as a friend; in another, the label may seem less appropriate . Therefore, people tend to have thin understanding of what friendship really means. To help us understand what friendship really means, we need to review some classical view of friendship.

One classical view of friendship is provide by Aristotle , the famous ancient Greek philosopher . Aristotle distinguishes between what he believes to genuine friendships and two other forms: one based on mutual usefulness, the other forms: one based on mutual usefulness, the other on pleasure. So ,according to Aristotle, we may find three kinds of friendship:

Friendship based on utility. Utility is an impermanent thing: it changes according to circumstances. When the ground for friendship disappears, the friendship also breaks up . Friendship of this kind seem to occur most frequently between the elderly, because at their age what they want is not pleasure but utility. Friendship based on utility are also frequently found among those in middle or early life who are pursuing their own advantage. Such persons do not spend much time together,

because sometimes they do not spend much time together, because sometimes they do not even like one another, and therefore feel no need of such an association unless they are mutually useful. They take pleasure in each other’s company only in so far as they have hopes of advantage from it.

Friendship based on pleasure. Friendship between the young is thought to be grounded on pleasure, because the lives of the young are regulated by their feelings, and their chief interests are in their own pleasure and the opportunity of the moment. As they grow up, however, their tastes change too, so that they are quick to make and to break friendships. That is why they fall in and out of friendship quickly, changing their attitude often, even within the sane day.

Friendship based on goodness. Perfect friendship is based on goodness. Only the friendship of those who are good and similar in their goodness, is perfect. The conduct of good men is the same or similar. It is between good men that both love and friendship are chiefly found and highest form. Such friendship are rare and they need time and intimacy; for as saying goes ,true friends must go through trials and tribulations together. And no two persons can accept each other and become friends until each has proved to the other that he is worthy of love, and so won hiss trust. The wish for friendship may develop rapidly, but true friendship does not.

Another classical view of friendship can be found in the writings of Cicero, an ancient Roman statesman and orator. According to Cicero, true friendship is only possible between good men. He further defines“the good”as“those whose actions and lives leave no question as to their honor, purity, equity, and who have the courage of their convictions.”The friendship between good men, based on virtue, does offer material benefits, but does not seek them. All human beings are bonded together in a community of shared reason. Therefore, in friendship and relationships, those who possess any superiority must regard themselves as equals of those who are less fortunate. It is virtue that and preserves true friendship.

Thus, we may see that the traditional idea of friendship is made up of three components: Friends must enjoy each other’s company; they must be useful to one another; and they must share a commitment to the good. According to the classical views, virtuous friends are bound together, as they recognize each other’s moral excellence. To perceive a friend, therefore, is to perceive oneself; and to know a friend is to know oneself. Each can be said to provide a mirror in which the other may see himself. Through networks of such virtuous friends, we can develop a shared idea of good and pursue it together. Friendship of this kind is permanent, because in it are united the attributes that friends ought to possess.

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