On the Differences of Politeness Expression between Chinese and Western Culture

On the Differences of Politeness Expression between Chinese and

Western Culture

Abstract: Politeness is not only observed as a phenomenon, the symbol of the civilization and development of society, but also is readily understood as a means to help people achieve and maintain good interpersonal relationship. There’re differences on politeness expression between Chinese and western countries in the aspects of greeting and parting, terms of addressing, compliments and responses, etc.

Key words:Politeness language; cultural differences; cross-cultural communication

1 Introduction

First of all politeness can be observed as a phenomenon and now it has become the symbol of the civilization and development of society. For example, after accepting one’s help, you’d better say “Thank you”, which is considered to be polite; entering one’s private room without knocking at the door is thought to be impolite; to offer the old or the disabled your seat is polite, etc.

Then politeness is readily understood as a means. The reason why people act politely is that they want to show their wish to start a friendly relationship with someone, “or to maintain it if it already exists, or to mend it if it is being threatened for some reason. Politeness can also be regarded as a restraint, some kind of social norm imposed by the conventions of the community of which we are members.”

2 Cultural differences on politeness

2.1 Greeting and parting

In English, people often employ the following expressions to greet each other “Fine day, isn’t it?” “How are you?” “How is everything going?” On the contrary, Chinese always greet each other with questions such as “Have you eaten yet?” “What are you going to do?” “You are back from you work?” etc. Westerners treat them as real questions. While in China, we always say such questions to show our consideration and friendliness. However, a westerner may think, “Why do you ask me such questions? It’s none of your business.”

In western society, during the closing phase of an encounter, reasons for ending the encounter are presented in mitigating comments from “I” perspective, such as “I

am afraid I must be off” or “I have another appointment, so I must go now” etc. They always try to make the leaving sound reluctant through finding some reasons and apologizing for it to make the leaving acceptable for both parties. In China reasons for ending the encounter are set forth in mitigating expressions from “you” perspective, which include “你挺忙的,我就不多打扰了。” “你一定累了,早点休息吧,我要告辞了。” etc. With these words, they may stand up from their seats. It is very short and quick. Western people think it so abrupt that they have not prepared for it. While moving to the door, Chinese use expressions of apology like “对不起,打扰了。” “对不起,占用你不少时间。” It should be mentioned that these expressions employed by Chinese guests to show concern for their hosts can only be appropriate for business visits in the English society.

2.2 Terms of addressing

Proper addressing can reduce the psychological distance between each other and then make the conversation smooth. In an informal occasion in western countries, even a professor or chairman prefers himself to be called with his given name to show intimacy to others. That is, westerners will introduce each other by first name, without titles and occasionally by just the last name. They would like to be introduced to somebody by first name, and then you can address him or her by first name the next time you meet. In China, there is a deep-rooted notion that when addressing others, they like to add their titles to show respect, such as “Principal Guo”, “Manager Yang”, etc. However, the same occasion in western world would only be someone who holds an important position, such as the university president or provost. Unless they tell you, otherwise faculty should be addressed using their title and last name (e.g., “Professor Smith”). When in doubt, you’d better use the formal manner of address, since it is better to err on the side of formality, because westerners do not like such addressing and they think such addressing sounds dishonest and hypocritical.

2.3 Compliment and response

Western and Chinese culture are at polar opposites about compliments. In China, it is usually accepted that to show modesty is a way to be polite because the deep-rooted Confucianism has long been influencing their way of thinking. However, it is difficult for English speakers to interpret the cultural connotation of the Chinese modesty which is quite different from Leech’s modesty in his Modesty Maxim. When being complimented, an English speaking person would readily accept the compliment by saying “Thank you” to show his appreciation of the praise, which is English convention. But a Chinese speaker would try to deny the truth of the compliment. For example:

When hearing the praise: “That’s a beautiful dress you have on!”

Westerners would answer: “Thanks a lot!”

Chinese would say: 不,不,不,还过得去!

In such occasion, neither of them would think the opposite is polite. Westerners always think that we Chinese aren’t polite and lack of confidence.

2.4Face and “面子” or “脸”

“‘Face’ in Chinese is different from Brown and Levinson’s ‘face’. Chinese often mention ‘给面子’、 ‘给脸’、 ‘丢面子’、 ‘丢脸’ etc. ‘Face’ in Chinese is social capital and can be either ‘thick’ or ‘thin’, borrowed, given, augmented, diminished and so on. Getting ‘face’ in Chinese depends on other’s involvement.” From above, we know that face goes deep to the core of a Chinese person’s identity and integrity. The general notion of “face” becomes more specific in Brown and Levinson’s theory. According to Brown and Levinson, “‘Face’ means the public self-image of a person. It refers to that emotional and social sense of self that everyone has and expects everyone else to recognize. They distinguish ‘face’ into negative face and positive face. In simple terms, negative face is the need to be dependent and positive face is the need to be connected.” However, people in China are encouraged to avoid acts that stir up jealousy, affront authority or incur ill-will things that can damage face.

3 Conclusions

In sum, politeness is a characteristic of culture to some extent. To explain the cultural character of politeness, the specific value of the cultures must be explored. That is to say, in daily expression, we should fully understand the culture of both speakers. Only through that, can we English learners develop and improve pragmatic competence and achieve success in cross-cultural communication.

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